The Three Army-Surgeons

In the days when armies marched across Europe and battles were fought with sword and lance, there traveled three army surgeons who believed themselves to be the most skilled medical men in all the world. They had tended to countless wounded soldiers and performed many successful operations, but their success had filled them with such pride and arrogance that they could no longer see their own limitations.

The Boastful Claim

As the three surgeons traveled from town to town, they would stop at every inn and tavern to boast about their incredible abilities. They claimed they could heal any wound, cure any disease, and most remarkably of all, reattach any severed body part so perfectly that it would function exactly as it had before.

“There is no injury we cannot repair!” declared the first surgeon, a tall man with an elaborately waxed mustache.

“We have mastered the secrets of the human body!” proclaimed the second, who wore spectacles that made his eyes look unnaturally large.

“Our skill is so great that we could cut off our own hands and reattach them perfectly!” boasted the third, the youngest of the group but perhaps the most arrogant.

The Innkeeper’s Challenge

One evening, the three surgeons arrived at a busy inn where many travelers had gathered for the night. As usual, they began their boasting about their medical prowess, claiming there was no surgical feat beyond their abilities.

The innkeeper, a practical man who had heard many tall tales in his time, listened to their claims with growing skepticism. Finally, he could stand their arrogance no longer.

“Gentlemen,” he said with a sly smile, “your claims are indeed remarkable. But surely you would not mind proving your skills to my guests? After all, words are easy, but demonstrations are more convincing.”

The three surgeons exchanged confident glances. They had never backed down from a challenge, and they were certain their abilities would astound the simple country folk.

“What kind of demonstration do you have in mind?” asked the first surgeon.

The Proposed Test

The innkeeper’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “Since you claim you can reattach any severed body part perfectly, why don’t you each remove something from your own body and then reattach it? That would surely prove your remarkable skills to everyone present.”

The guests in the inn murmured with excitement and anticipation. Such a demonstration would indeed be proof of the surgeons’ claims, if they dared to attempt it.

The three surgeons, trapped by their own boasting and unwilling to appear cowardly before so many witnesses, agreed to the challenge. They reasoned that their skills were so great that the demonstration would be perfectly safe.

The Dangerous Demonstration

The first surgeon, determined to show his superiority, announced that he would remove his own hand and reattach it. With great ceremony, he used his surgical instruments to carefully sever his hand at the wrist, placing it on a table for all to see.

The second surgeon, not to be outdone, declared that he would remove his heart and reattach it. This was an even more dangerous feat, but his pride would not allow him to attempt anything less dramatic than his colleague.

The third surgeon, determined to prove himself the most skilled of all, announced that he would remove his own eyes and reattach them perfectly. The guests gasped at such a bold claim.

One by one, the three surgeons performed their dangerous operations on themselves, carefully removing the specified body parts and placing them on the table. They then applied a special ointment they carried, which they claimed would keep the severed parts fresh until they could be reattached.

The Night of Consequences

“We shall reattach these parts in the morning,” announced the first surgeon, “after we have rested and prepared properly. You will see that our skills are indeed beyond compare.”

The surgeons retired to their room, confident that the next day would bring them even greater fame and recognition. The severed hand, heart, and eyes were left on the table in the inn’s main room, preserved by the surgeons’ special ointment.

But the surgeons had not counted on the activities of the inn’s servants during the night. The inn had a cat known for its hunting prowess, and the innkeeper also kept a pig in the yard behind the building.

During the night, the cat crept into the main room and, mistaking the heart for a piece of fresh meat, carried it away and ate it. To replace what had been taken, the servant girl, not understanding the importance of the items, placed a pig’s heart on the table in its stead.

More Midnight Mischief

Meanwhile, a thief had broken into the inn during the night, intending to steal whatever valuables he could find. When he saw the severed hand lying on the table, he was horrified, thinking it belonged to someone he had murdered. In his panic, he cut off his own hand (which had been stained black from years of thievery) and fled into the night, leaving his own appendage behind.

The servant, finding the bloody scene in the morning and not understanding what had happened, assumed the black hand belonged with the other body parts and arranged everything neatly on the table.

As for the eyes, a mischievous young guest had crept downstairs during the night and, thinking they were some kind of unusual delicacy, had eaten them. To cover his misdeed, he replaced them with a pig’s eyes from the kitchen.

The Morning of Truth

When the three surgeons came downstairs the next morning, they were eager to demonstrate their reattachment skills to the assembled guests. Without examining the parts too closely, they each retrieved what they believed to be their own severed body part and began the process of reattachment.

Using their surgical skills and special healing ointments, they carefully attached the hand, heart, and eyes to their respective owners. The operations appeared to be successful, and the surgeons congratulated themselves on their amazing abilities.

“You see!” declared the first surgeon, flexing what he thought was his reattached hand. “Perfect as new!”

“My heart beats as strongly as ever!” proclaimed the second, feeling the pulse in his chest.

“And my vision is completely restored!” announced the third, blinking what he believed were his own eyes.

The Unexpected Results

But as the days passed, the surgeons began to notice some very strange side effects from their demonstration. The first surgeon discovered that his reattached hand had an uncontrollable urge to steal things. No matter how hard he tried to control it, the hand would reach out and grab whatever valuables it could find.

“This is most peculiar,” he muttered, as his hand once again snatched a coin purse from a passerby. “This never happened before!”

The second surgeon found that his pig’s heart had given him an enormous appetite and some very un-human preferences in food. He began rooting around in garbage and mud, looking for scraps, and he developed an alarming tendency to roll in dirt.

The Final Revelation

The third surgeon’s problems were perhaps the most dramatic of all. His pig’s eyes gave him excellent vision for finding truffles and other pig delicacies, but they also made him see the world in a very different way. He began to view everything from a pig’s perspective, finding beauty in mud puddles and garbage heaps.

When the three surgeons finally realized what had happened - that their body parts had been switched with those of animals and criminals during the night - they were horrified. Their pride and arrogance had led them into a trap of their own making.

The Lesson Learned

The innkeeper, who had orchestrated the entire affair to teach the boastful surgeons a lesson, watched their predicament with satisfaction. “Gentlemen,” he said, “you claimed you could reattach any body part perfectly. And indeed, you have succeeded. The parts are attached and functioning exactly as they should - according to their true nature.”

The three surgeons realized they had been victims of their own hubris. Their boasting had led them into a situation where their medical skills, while genuine, could not overcome the consequences of their arrogance and carelessness.

The Humbling Aftermath

From that day forward, the three army surgeons were much more humble in their claims and careful in their practice. The first surgeon had to constantly fight against his hand’s thieving impulses, which served as a daily reminder of the dangers of pride.

The second surgeon learned to control his pig-like appetites, though he never again boasted about his abilities without thinking carefully about the consequences.

The third surgeon, while he learned to live with his unusual vision, became known for his ability to find lost objects - a skill that, while useful, was a constant reminder of his past arrogance.

The Moral of the Tale

The story of the three army surgeons became a popular cautionary tale told throughout the land, teaching people about the dangers of excessive pride and boasting. It reminded listeners that true skill should be accompanied by humility, and that those who claim to be capable of anything may find themselves facing challenges they never anticipated.

The tale also served as a reminder that in attempting to prove ourselves superior to others, we often create situations where our own abilities work against us. The surgeons’ genuine skills had indeed reattached the body parts perfectly - but they had been too proud to ensure they were reattaching the right parts.

The Enduring Wisdom

And so the innkeeper’s clever trick became a beloved story, teaching generation after generation that wisdom lies not just in what we can do, but in understanding the limitations of our abilities and the importance of approaching our skills with humility rather than arrogance.

The three surgeons continued their medical practice, but they never again claimed they could heal anything or reattach any body part. Instead, they focused on helping their patients to the best of their ability, always remembering that true expertise comes with the wisdom to know when to be cautious and when to admit that some challenges are beyond even the most skilled practitioner.