Once upon a time there lived a man who had a daughter, whom he called Clever Elsie. One day the father said, “We must see about finding her a husband.”

“Yes,” replied her mother, “if only someone would come who would have her.”

At last a man named Hans came from a distant village. He had heard of Clever Elsie’s reputation and wished to marry her, but only on the condition that she was truly as clever as everyone claimed.

“She has a good head on her shoulders,” said Elsie’s father proudly. “She can see the wind coming up the street and hear the flies coughing.”

“That is all well and good,” said Hans, “but I should like to see this cleverness for myself before I make my decision.”

They all sat down to dinner, and after they had eaten, the mother said, “Elsie, go down to the cellar and fetch some beer.”

Clever Elsie took the pitcher from the wall, went down to the cellar, and on her way, clattered the lid of the pitcher to pass the time. When she reached the cellar, she took a stool and placed it in front of the barrel so that she would not have to stoop and hurt her back unnecessarily. Then she placed the pitcher before her and turned the tap. While the beer was running, she decided not to waste time, so she looked up and noticed a pickaxe that the masons had left hanging on the wall when they were working on the ceiling.

Clever Elsie began to weep, saying to herself, “If I marry Hans, and we have a child, and the child grows big, and we send the child down here to draw beer, the pickaxe might fall on its head and kill it.” So there she sat, crying and wailing loudly over the misfortune that might happen someday.

Those upstairs waited for the beer, but Clever Elsie still did not return. Then the mother said to the maid, “Go down to the cellar and see what has happened to Elsie.”

The maid went and found Elsie sitting in front of the barrel, crying heartily. “Elsie, why are you crying?” she asked.

“Oh,” she answered, “shouldn’t I cry? If I marry Hans, and we have a child, and the child grows big, and we send the child down here to draw beer, that pickaxe might fall on its head and kill it.”

The maid thought this was very clever indeed. She sat down beside Elsie and began to cry over the misfortune as well.

After a while, when the maid did not return, the man said to the servant, “Go down to the cellar and see what has happened to Elsie and the maid.”

The servant went down, and there sat Clever Elsie and the maid, both crying together. So he asked, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh,” said Elsie, “shouldn’t I cry? If I marry Hans, and we have a child, and the child grows big, and we send the child down here to draw beer, the pickaxe might fall on its head and kill it.”

The servant thought this was very wise foresight. He joined them and let out a hearty howl.

Upstairs, they waited for the servant, but when he didn’t return either, the father said to the mother, “Go down to the cellar and see what has happened to Elsie.”

The mother went down and found all three making loud lamentations, and asked the cause. Elsie again explained the potential future tragedy, and her mother immediately recognized the wisdom in this. “Oh,” she cried, “what a clever Elsie we have!” And she sat down and began to cry with them.

The father waited a while, but when his wife did not return, and his thirst grew ever stronger, he said, “I must go to the cellar myself and see what has become of Elsie.” But when he entered the cellar, and saw the four of them sitting together crying, and heard that the reason was a child that might someday be killed by the pickaxe, should it happen to be sitting beneath it drawing beer when it fell, he cried, “What a clever Elsie we have!” and sat down to join in the crying and lamenting.

Meanwhile, the bridegroom had been sitting alone upstairs for a long time. When nobody came back, he thought, “They must be waiting for me to join them. I’d better go and see what they are doing.”

When he went down to the cellar, there sat the five of them, crying and wailing quite pitifully, each outdoing the others.

“What misfortune has happened?” he asked.

“Oh, dear Hans,” said Elsie, “if we marry each other, and have a child, and the child grows big, and we perhaps send the child down here to draw beer, the pickaxe hanging there might fall on the child’s head and kill it. Shouldn’t we cry over that?”

“Well,” said Hans, “more understanding than this is not needed for my household. Since you are such a clever Elsie, I will have you for my wife.” He took her by the hand, led her upstairs, and they celebrated the wedding without delay.

After they had been married for a while, one morning Hans said, “Wife, I am going out to work and earn money. You go into the field and cut the grain so that we will have bread.”

“Yes, dear Hans, I will do that,” she replied.

After Hans had gone, Clever Elsie cooked herself a good meal and took it with her to the field. When she arrived, she said to herself, “What shall I do? Shall I cut the grain first, or eat first? I think I’ll eat first.” So she ate her packed meal and felt quite satisfied and sleepy. Then she began to cut the grain, but soon became so tired that she didn’t know what she was doing. To make sure she didn’t cut off her clothes or even a part of herself, she placed her cutting tool and clothes on the ground beside her and fell asleep among the grain.

Hans had been home for a long time, but Elsie did not come. So he said, “What a clever Elsie I have. She is so industrious that she doesn’t even come home to eat.”

But when evening came and she still had not returned, Hans went out to see how much grain she had cut. Nothing had been cut, and Elsie was lying there asleep. Hans hurried home and brought a fowler’s net with many little bells and hung it around her without waking her. Then he ran back home, closed the house door, and sat down to work.

At last, when it was quite dark, Clever Elsie awoke and got up. When she walked, the net around her jingled at every step. This frightened her and confused her so much that she wasn’t sure whether she was really Clever Elsie or not. “Is it me, or is it not me?” she wondered. She didn’t know what to answer herself, and stood for a time in doubt.

At last she thought, “I’ll go home and ask if it is me or not. They will certainly know.”

She ran to her house, but found the door locked. So she knocked on the window and called, “Hans, is Elsie inside?”

“Yes,” answered Hans, “she is inside.”

Hearing this, she was terrified and said, “Oh, heaven, then it is not me!” and went to another house, but when the people heard the jingling of the bells, they wouldn’t open the door, and nowhere would they take her in.

So she ran out of the village, and no one ever saw her again.

Hans, realizing what had happened, waited a reasonable time for her return. When months passed with no sign of Elsie, he understood that her overthinking and confusion had led her away forever. Though initially saddened, he eventually remarried a practical woman from a neighboring village who, when asked to fetch beer from the cellar, simply did so without imagining disasters that might never happen.

And whenever someone in the village would worry excessively about far-fetched possibilities, others would smile and say, “Don’t be such a Clever Elsie,” and the meaning was understood by all.